Win or Lose Together

We all sit on the same side of the table.

The enemy that should lose in a conflict is not a person but an ideology: darkness, ego, greed, and arrogance.

Don’t defeat them, but the flawed ideology and the negativity that it’s provoking among us.

Win

True champions are in love with learning, experimenting, thriving, and struggling.

Lewis Hamilton is Formula One’s winningest driver. His 10 minutes at the podium are founded on thousands of hours working out, practicing, and racing.

Winning is rare and only accounts for a tiny fraction of the time spent in your pursuit. You only get to win if you’ve went through the first 4 levels:

1. Learn
2. Experiment
3. Thrive
4. Struggle

So, you better love the lower parts if you want to win. Says math.

Purpose Comes First

‘The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.’ -Pablo Picasso

Put another way: what I have is God’s gift to me; what I do with it is my gift to God.

The purpose is our backbone and insulates our self-esteem. Purpose enables us to live a passionate, inspired, and motivated life—a life we want to share with others.

When we aren’t pursuing our purpose, troubles arise. If there’s no purpose, the end of financial security and social connections is near.

Dancing In a Partnership

In every partnership there actually 3 relationships:

1. Your relationship with each other
2. Your relationship with your purpose
3. Your partner’s relationship with their purpose

If you can’t dance the way you want to, be curious about these 3 relationships to find a path forward.

Humility Is Nourishing

Ego and pride end more relationships than anything else: ‘I’m in the right, I know best, he’s wrong.’

Humility builds relationships. It’s also difficult which is why it’s for the emotionally fit.

Notice an expertise of theirs that you’ve taken for granted. Let them know about this extraordinary characteristic of theirs.

Every day we get a chance to be humble. It’s nourishing.

When the Student Is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear

What we know gets in the way of what we need to learn.

‘The only thing I know is that I know nothing.’ -Socrates

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.

Turn Off Your Lens

Attention is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. One of the best ways to give attention is seeking to understand their goals without editing them to suit yours.

We automatically put others’ goals through our own filter and lens, which may be too big or too small.

Your perspective is important, but the point here is not to project or predict. The point here is to empower them.

Listen to their reasons, what motivates them, and why. You will learn from this, too.

Help Them Lead Themselves

Everyone has a purpose, even if they don’t realize it yet.

1. What’s really important to you right now?
2. What do you need to get there?
3. Is there anything I can do to help you?

It’s purpose by which we can live a passionate, inspired, and motivated life.

Helping them lead themselves means you get the pleasure of living alongside someone who’s fulfilled.

Support Their Goals, Not Yours

Strategists, writers, editors, and creatives all work to meet the organization’s goals. Even then, each shows up with his own goal.

The work that they engage in: do they realize that it’s also meant for them?

Your goal is simply to help them get to the next step in their journey, not the next step in your vision.

If you’re truly interested in furthering the organization’s vision, you’re required to pay attention to the individuals within. No shortcuts.

Do Not Lead, Serve

A true leader doesn’t seek power, but empowers others.

You earn trust, a rare asset around here, when they’re convinced that you don’t intend to assert authority over them.